My first rectal

Today, during what I can only describe as the most manic shift of my life, I had the absolute pleasure of administering aspirin to a patient rectally. Said patient had suffered a massive heart attack and needed to take aspirin as result; her dementia, however, was very far progressed and she refused to take any tablets orally. This is the part when my fingers come in. The nurse informed me I would first need to 'lube up' my finger, then the patient's anus and up into her back passage. After this then I would need to dip the aspirin suppositories into a lovely little pool of 'lube'. I can assure you that all escapades involving lube that I have partaken in have never involved shit ending up all over my hands. After greasing up the tablet, I then inserted it into her rectum as far as my finger would reach. I repeated this process with the second aspirin. Needless to say the feeling of foreign faeces squelching around my index finger stayed with me throughout my lunch break. Let it be known to the next man who tries to put his finger up MY back passage, under the guise of pleasure or not, will receive a swift kick to the testicles.